Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there...

Genesis 22

Abraham Tested

1 Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

8 Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram ^[a] caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

15 The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring ^[b] all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

God never intended for Abraham to kill his son Isaac, but Isaac was the one thing that Abraham could have loved more than God.

2 lessons here:

1. Anything you love more than God, it is worth it to get rid of it no matter what the price or how much pain it will cause, because there is nothing earthly that is worth jeopordizing your relationship with God or worth being disobedient to God - real talk.

But the lesson that relates to my journy to Peru is this:

2. God wanted to see that there was nothing that he loved more than God, there was nothing that he was willing to put before his relationship with and obedience to God.

By going to Moriah, with the full intention of obeying God and sacrificing Isaac, Abraham was not only showing his obedience and love for God, but he was also showing his trust and faith in God. No doubt Abraham was heart broken, confused, hurt...all of the above. First God had him wait until he was darn near 100 years old to even have a son, and then God was asking Him to kill this son...this long anticipated son whom he loved so so much. But through all these painful emotions Abraham was experiencing, he knew that God would provide for Him, he trusted in God's master plan, he knew that in the end being obedient to God would be more beneficial to him than not.

Now I am in no way saying that going to Peru will be as hard and having to personally turn my only child into a human sacrifice. And I am in no way comparing myself or my faithfullness/obedience to God to that of Abraham's. But I am suggesting that all the things I will miss when I go to Peru, are not worth me staying if God is asking me to go. Yes I will miss my family very much...but I belong to God before I belong to my parents. Yes I will miss my friends and may be lonely from time to time. But in God I find all the love and companionship that I would ever need in a lifetime. Yes I will miss being able to run everyday, yes I will miss my tv shows (especially the Office and Desperate Housewives! lol), yes I will miss certain foods and other comforts of living middle class in America...but if God is telling me that right now in my life I need to go to Peru, there is nothing that is valuable enough to keep me here. Because in the end ya'll...and I mean this with all my heart...knowing God personally, and feeling His love for me on a daily basis is all I could ever need here on earth. And whatever it takes for me to know Him more intimately and serve Him more passionately...well that is what I'm willing to do.

Because I've lived my life in a way that fulfilled my fleshly desires and I did fulfill them - but still felt empty and sometimes more dissatisfied than before. I've relied upon myself only - and I've let myself down...over and over! I've tried to lead a good life and be a "good person," but I found I am motivated by selfishness and down right disgusting desires...so bad that if a saviour does not come and intercede on my behalf...I'm screwed. Its a good thing God loved me through all this, and when I finally gave up and and turned my life and hear over to Him and His plan, I found open loving arms and type of freedom that I would have never expected to gain from submission.

So that may have gotten a little off topic but its where God led to to write, its my heart open for you to read.